


Hey, Little Trouble

by potterthepoltergeist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Male Character, Chronicles of Narnia References, Falling In Love, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28897326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potterthepoltergeist/pseuds/potterthepoltergeist
Summary: "hey, little trouble, what're you doing tonight? / i got a bad thought, you can make it right"or, sirius has some overdue epiphanies, remus is oblivious, and the gayness is panicking.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	1. part i

In one second, everything was quiet. The hallways were free of traffic, students were tucked into classrooms, and the only sound around was Mrs. Norris's paws padding across the floor.

In the next, the rooms seemed to explode.

Doors were flung open, and students flooded the corridors, a giant stampede of kids free from school, if only for the weekend. People shouted across the halls to their friends, thudded up and down staircases, and sped through the dungeons, ignoring indignant reprimanding from their professors. But Sirius was just trying to find Remus.

He spotted his head bobbing through the crowds just up ahead, with that new, thin scar stretching from the back of his ear to the nape of his neck. And Remus had gotten so much taller over the summer, it was almost insulting.

"Moony!" Sirius panted, making his way through the crowds and poking Remus in the elbow. "Why are you so fast?"

Remus gave him a bemused look. "I'm just walking."

"Yeah, well, your legs are, like, longer than a quidditch hoop now, so."

Sirius didn't know why saying that sentence made him blush just a little.

"Pads? Hello?"

"Hm?" He blinked. "Oh. What?"

"How was charms?"

"Oh. Fine." Sirius pulled a small smile, and the pair melted into the crowds again, swept along downstream.

~~~

Their trunks were all cracked open at their footboards, and all fit to burst. James was bouncing on his bed, reciting rapid-fire facts about quidditch while Peter listened attentively. Remus was lying on his stomach, scanning the pages of a book with a chocolate bar sticking halfway out of his mouth. And the scene in the dormitory was so familiar that it filled a tiny hole in Sirius's chest.

"-and they expect it to reach speeds of over eighty kilometers per- oh, hey, Padfoot- second, and that's not even  _ downwind _ , isn't that absolutely brilliant? Oh, and-"

Remus glanced up from his reading, bit off another chunk of his chocolate, and turned back to it again.

"Moony," Sirius started, sinking down on the mattress next to him. "What're you reading?"

"S'Narnia," Remus mumbled through a mouthful of chocolate. He tapped the pages with his thumb. "Really good Muggle stories. They don't have magic like us, though. It's different there."

"Is it?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Like how?"

"No wands, not many potions, really, either. Most humans aren't wizards or witches or anything. It's a bit chaotic, honestly." He nibbled on the chocolate some more. "But they're fantastic books."

"What're they about?"

"The best one's about the Pevensies - Lucy, Edmund, Susan, and Peter."

Peter looked up from across the room. "What?"

"Not you, Peter. Anyway, in the second one, there's this wardrobe. It's sort of like a Portkey meets Floo Powder. I don't know if I'm explaining that right. Basically, you just have to walk into it to get to Narnia."

And as Remus went on a deep dive of his Muggle story, picking its plot apart, the other boy hung on his every word.

~~~

That night, Sirius lay in his own bed, drapes slid shut, listening to James's impressively loud snores. And when Sirius replayed the evening in his mind, he found himself pushing aside the Narnia bits and fixating on the Remus bits.

And he wondered why that was.

Because Remus was...  _ Remus. _ And Remus was wonderful. He was clever and witty and sarcastic and considerate and way too hard on himself and insultingly tall and insultingly beautiful and-

Oh, shit.


	2. part ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "but what if the bomb just doesn't go off? / still playing that song, still dancing alone"

Sirius stood in a quiet corridor and turned his little project over in his hands, admiring it on all sides. It was perfect. His plan was perfect.

He'd swiped Remus's copy of  _ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe _ two nights before. (Swiped, stolen, burgled, they were all the same thing.) And Sirius may or may not have used a spot of magic to achieve the... desired effect.

And when he opened the book one last time, just to make sure it still worked (he was nervous as fuck), the desired effect was, once again, achieved.

Bright, tiny fireworks, no larger than the size of his palm, burst from the pages and exploded just above, spelling out his multicolored question. Sirius waited until the display faded before carefully tucking the book back into the inner pocket of his robes, turning around, and-

"What are you doing?"

Sirius cursed, starting at the sight of Marlene. "Merlin, McKinnon, you can't sneak up on someone like that."

She gestured towards his pockets. "So you're just keeping fireworks handy now, is that the new normal?"

"They're for a... thing."

"Would that thing happen to be seducing Remus?"

"I'm not  _ seducing _ -"

"They're  _ fireworks, _ love, you could see their words even with James's eyesight." Marlene crossed her arms and leaned in conspiratorially. "When are you gonna give it to him?"

Sirius exhaled slowly. "Today. Probably catch him after dinner or something."

They stood in silence for a beat until Marlene said, "Remus, huh? When did that start?"

"Um, a while ago, I suppose. Yeah, he's... yeah. I really like him. A lot."

"Bit of advice," she whispered. "Do it now, could you? As long as you're ready and all. Less chance to chicken out, what with all the adrenaline I've scared into you."

"That sounds less like advice and more like a command."

Marlene snorted. "Go, lover boy."

"Yeah, okay. I can do this."

"I believe in you!"

"Shove off."

Sirius could hear her laughing even when he'd rounded the corner, half walking, half running to find Remus.

~~~

Remus was, predictably, in the library.

He was hunched over his favorite corner table, the one he basically owned by now, considering how often he sat at it. Two textbooks were open in front of him, and he kept glancing up at one or the other, then jotting down notes on parchment. His curly hair just barely brushed his forehead, and he was biting the inside of his lip in concentration, and Sirius would never be able to finish his mission if he kept focusing on all that.

"Um, Moony? Can I show you something real quick?"

A small bit of Sirius's pride was soothed when Remus looked up from his homework immediately. "What?"

"I've got this thing. Here-" Sirius eased his project out of his robe pocket, carefully setting it on top of Remus's textbooks. "Open it."

He furrowed his brow. "This is just my book."

"Well, yeah, but no."

"Did you do something to it?"

"Mhm. I mean, I did, but it's nothing bad."

Remus looked slightly confused but picked it up nonetheless. "Why's it vibrating?"

"Just open it," Sirius huffed.  _ Before I chicken out. _

So Remus set down his quill and warily cracked the book open to the first page.

And the fireworks hadn't even fully exploded before Madame Pince swooped in like a hawk, slamming the book shut again and pocketing it for herself. Sirius spluttered indignantly.

She tsked and looked sternly at the boys over the rims of her spectacles. "The third Zonko product I've had to confiscate this week. Mr. Lupin, you may retrieve your toy from my desk at this time on Friday."

Remus ducked his head and mumbled an apology. As soon as Pince had swept from the aisle, he shot a glare at Sirius. "Thanks, Padfoot."

Sirius spluttered even more and gesticulated desperately in the air. "No, that's not what I-"

"It's fine," he muttered as he packed up his things. "Least I didn't get detention."

The hand gestures only grew more and more frantic. "Moony, I was only trying to ask you if you-"

"Sirius," Remus huffed, and even though a hint of a smile was playing at his lips, Sirius shared none of his amusement. "I told you, it's fine."

"But  _ Remus- _ "

"Tell me later, alright? I've got to meet Lily for the prefects' assembly."

And then Remus was out of the library, leaving Sirius alone with an unsaid confession on his lips.


	3. part iii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i'll tell you that i love you, i'll scream it twice / you ask over the music, 'did i hear that right?'"

"-and that makes five tries now."

"Whew, this is going-"

"-pretty-"

"-it's failing."

"Okay, maybe, but that's a rather negative term, _McKinnon_ , and I'm trying to stay positive."

Marlene nodded as Sirius buried his head in his hands. "Right."

They sat there in the quidditch stands for a while, staring out onto the pitch. The Hufflepuff team was practicing this morning, and James had insisted on waking up at an ungodly hour to do some recon.

"Have you told him yet?"

"Who? James?"

A nod.

"No," Sirius admitted quietly. "I don't know why. I just- yeah, I dunno."

Marlene's blonde hair blew across her face in the wind. "And have you talked to Remus at all?"

Sirius gave her some incredulous side-eye. "You must be joking. I've been trying to all bloody week, and he's just- I don't know what's up with him."

"Maybe he knows," Marlene mused, thrusting her chin in her hands.

"If he does, he hasn't said anything. Although it should be obvious, with everything I've been throwing at him."

"Yeah, it should."

~~~

It was, in fact, very obvious.

Remus had known before the hot chocolate mug with writing on the inside bottom. He'd known before Sirius had randomly started carrying mistletoe - in _early October._ He'd even known before the failed library fireworks display.

Remus had been harboring suspicions since around the tenth time he'd caught Sirius staring at him from across the Gryffindor table, eyes wide and face slightly flushed, before glancing back towards his half-eaten toast.

And Remus was terrified.

Because _of course_ he liked Sirius. How could he not? Sirius was smart and funny and ridiculous and too fucking charming for his own good. Sirius cracked bad animal puns every five seconds and had that little dimple in his left cheek that appeared every time he smiled. Sirius wore that leather jacket Andromeda got him for Christmas every chance he got because "it's punk rock, Moony, and _I'm_ punk rock."

But Remus was still so fucking terrified. He was terrified because he never knew what to say, and he never knew how to say it. He was terrified because this was all in his head, and there was no way that this beautiful boy could actually like him _._ He was terrified because almost everything he touched either went up in flames or was ripped to shreds. And then came _this_ , this group of weird, wonderful friends; friends he really, really didn't deserve. James, Peter, Lily, Dorcas, Mary, Marlene- Sirius. And if he so much as laid a single, self-deprecating finger on any of them-

So Remus stayed oblivious. He didn't say anything at all. He let himself think it was all in good fun, that he would give in to Sirius eventually.

"Eventually" was pushed later and later and later.

"Eventually" was going to have to break.


	4. part iv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "not every prodigy can age that well / not every mannequin can stand so fucking still"

Lily forked scrambled eggs onto her plate at the Gryffindor table, listening to Mary and Alice gossip animatedly across from her as Marlene and Dorcus snuck glances at each other to her right. And to her left-

Interesting.

Her eyes landed on a flustered Remus, fidgeting with the threadbare hems of what he liked to call his "weekend sweater." He was obviously trying very hard not to look up at Sirius, who was fixing him with such an intense gaze that it was no wonder Remus was squirming. After several long seconds of this, James and Peter still blissfully oblivious to the entire situation, Sirius seemed to realize he'd been staring, blushed a little, and went back to his food.

_ Interesting. _

Ten minutes later, Lily was tugging Sirius up a quiet staircase.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Evans," he grumbled but followed her nonetheless.

"I think you bloody well do,  _ Black, _ " she muttered. "What the hell was breakfast?"

"We ate the same thing we always do."

"Ha-ha, very funny." Lily glared at him. "Honestly, you've got no common sense."

Sirius leaned against the wall. "You're going to have to give me some context, because I still don't understand what this is about."

She pressed her fingers to her temples and sighed. "Breakfast, Sirius. You were staring for ages. I thought you'd bore a hole into his face."

"Staring at who? James? Oh, Evans, if this is jealousy, I can assure you-"

" _ Remus, _ you absolute wanker. Merlin, I try to help you, and you still can't-"

"Remus?" Sirius spluttered, face quickly flushing red. "That's ridiculous. You're being ridiculous. I never- Remus-"

Lily clamped a hand over his mouth. "It was incredibly obvious. Really adorable, too. You guys'll be great together."

His voice was muffled behind her palm. "Are you being serious?"

"Oh, yeah. His sanity will balance you out."

"You wound me."

She spread her hands. "Do you want my help or not?" 

Sirius hesitated only a second. "Please."

"Excellent."

~~~

"So Marlene knows, too?"

Sirius hummed in agreement. "Nobody else, though."

Lily winced. "Not even-"

"-not even James," he finished.

She swung her legs over their little bench in the quidditch stands (which had seemed to become the unofficial meeting spot for all things related to Sirius's love life). "And what have you tried so far?"

He ticked the list off on his fingers. "Mini fireworks, hot chocolate, a sweater, a painting, several notes - all with flowers, obviously - and mistletoe."

"Why would you use mistletoe? It's literally October."

"That's exactly what Marlene said, and for the record, I was desperate." Sirius stared out onto the pitch. Ravenclaw was practicing this afternoon, streaks of dark blue across a cloudy sky. "I  _ am _ desperate."

Lily snorted. "Well, I've got one idea, and it's pretty basic, but I'm not quite sure if it's occured to you yet, so I'll still suggest it."

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and waited.

"Just tell him."

Sirius would have laughed out loud, but he wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. "If you think that hasn't crossed my mind yet, Evans, well, you have underestimated my intelligence."

"No, you idiot." She swatted his arm. "I'm just saying, Remus is going to keep avoiding his feelings - and  _ you  _ \- until he's one hundred percent sure this is all real. And the only way he's going to be certain is if you tell him outright. He's not exactly the best with emotions, if you've noticed."

"But that's insane," Sirius protested. "I would if I could, but I can't. I'll just make a fool of myself."

Lily rolled her eyes. "No, you won't. I'll remind you that you have tried confessing multiple different ways, and Remus has found a way to avoid every single one." She grabbed him by the shoulders and stared him down. "Do you want to date this boy?"

Sirius nodded vigorously. "Yes, ma'am."

"Then, whenever you're feeling ready, tell him how you feel," she said. "No fancy nonsense that can go over his head. Because if it  _ can _ , it  _ will _ . Repeat after me."

"If it can, it will."

"Good." Lily nodded firmly. "You can do this."

He gave a quick salute before turning back to watch the practice. "Maybe later, though."

And Lily found herself smiling.


	5. part v

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "for now it's just a matter of right place, right time / singing 'every little thing's gonna be alright'"

Remus slipped into the boy's dormitory right after their last class of the day to steal a few minutes of peace and quiet. (Two rare novelties when living with James and Sirius, so every opportunity was much appreciated.)

He pulled on one of his thicker sweaters, the red-and-gold striped one that had been well-stretched and well-loved over the last year and a half he'd owned it. And Remus sank onto his sheets, looking around the room before reaching down under the bed. His fingertips found the copy of  _ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe _ in less than five seconds.

Sirius's little firework charms had faded a while ago, but Remus still half expected a rainbow of color to burst from the pages. He was almost disappointed when nothing happened.

Voices carried up the stairs and into the room.

"-I'm sorry, I just didn't know how to-"

"It's alright, Pads. I get it." Remus could hear the smile in James's tone.

"Oh, thank gods." And Remus could hear the small relieved sigh in Sirius's.

"So are you gonna tell him?"

"Well, yeah. Right now."

The voices were getting closer and closer.

"Good luck in there."

"I'll need it."

A chuckle. "Nah, you won't. In fact, I redact the luck. Bad luck in there, Padfoot."

"Prat."

It took Remus a second to register that Sirius was just on the other side of the door, and it took him another to mentally prepare himself for the doorknob turning and for him to walk in the room.

"Hey... Sirius," he said, giving an awkward wave with his book still in his hand. "What're you doing here?"

Sirius rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, tie loose around his neck, shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows. "Uh, just wanted to talk to you about something."

Remus inhaled sharply. "Oh."

"Yeah. Hey, can I, um, sit down?"

"Oh, sure." He scooted over to one side and patted the space next to him, ignoring the irritating number of butterflies in his stomach.

The straps of his trunk became incredibly interesting just then.

Sirius left a careful five inches between them on the bed.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Remus tried. His voice seemed to go up a few pitches.

"Moony," Sirius ended the word with a little chuckle that didn't hold much amusement. "I think it's a bit obvious."

"Is it?" and oh, fuck, it was like he was talking in one long voice crack. "Because I don't think it was all too easy to figure out, you know, between the notes and the flowers and the-"

"-the mistletoe?"

"Okay, who carries fucking  _ mistletoe _ in  _ October? _ "

"Agh, you sound like Lily," Sirius groaned, falling backward onto the mattress with a soft thud. "She probably still thinks I'm mad."

Remus furrowed his brow. "Lily-?"

He nodded. "Lily, Marlene, James, but I told him, like, two minutes ago, so I don't know if that really counts, but-"

"And they were-"

"They were helping me." Sirius rolled his eyes and pushed himself back up. "You have no  _ idea _ how hard you are to serenade, Moony, honestly. Maybe go easy on me next time?"

Remus flushed bright red, clearing his throat. "Is- did- next time?"

Sirius grinned, if not a little anxiously, and said, "Well, yeah. If you want me to. That is to say-" he added more seriously, sliding off the bed and onto the floor. He got down on one knee and took Remus's hand in his own. "Moons, Moonpie, Moonalicious, Moony,  _ Remus _ , will you go on a real, official, let's-hold-hands-and-be-cute-together date with me?"

Everything froze. And for one blissful second, they were the only two people in the world.

"I- well, yeah," Remus stuttered out, his brain unhelpfully hyperfocused on the feeling of his hand in Sirius's. "One condition, though."

Sirius's smile grew even wider. "Anything for you, love."

"Please don't call me Moonalicious."

**Author's Note:**

> come scream at me on tumblr: @potter-the-poltergeist


End file.
